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How to Cultivate Self-Love and Build Self-Worth as a Woman

Struggling with self worth and self love is something I often see in session with women. What would it be like to let go of fear and self doubt to live a life that feels 100% authentic to you?

What is self love and why it is important?

Self love is the appreciation of one's own worth and granting kindness towards ourselves. Self love is often fueled by grace and self compassion, which I find most people struggle with, including men. Self love means knowing our limits, values, boundaries and being intentional with ourselves. Giving our selves permission to explore these things helps us cultivate self love in a way that feels genuine and authentic to us. Self love is important because we live in a world where we often feel shame around our belief systems and the boxes society tries to fit us in. Increased self love can lead to better boundaries, a kinder internal monologue and healthier relationships.

What is self worth?

Most women I speak to wrap their self worth into being a mother, partner, career or even the successes she has in life. When they feel they are not doing their "best" in those areas, they often criticize themselves or doubt their own abilities. This can lead to more anxiety and depressive symptoms including a very negative internal monologue.

If you recently have been online, you may have seen the graduation speech presented by Kansas City Chief's Kicker, Harrison Butker at a local college. He states in the speech that women's lives begin when they get married or have children, which may be true for some but not all. We as a society have created boxes for women to have their self worth determined by what they are able to do instead of how they actually feel about themselves.

Per Google, Self Worth is knowing that we are valuable human and we are worthy of belonging. Self worth is not indicated by what we can do for others or our careers. Self love and self worth does not need to be dependent on how we externally measure success (i.e.: career goals, low body weights, etc).

How do I build my self love and worth?

Let's start by being more connected to ourselves and be intentional.

  • Values. Those who stand for nothing fall for anything. Starting with your values are helpful in understanding yourself on a much deeper level. Sit down with a piece of paper and ask yourself a few questions.

  1. What does society value?

  2. What do my parents value?

  3. What values were I taught as a kid?

  4. What does my partner or closest friend value?

  5. What do I value?

  • Be intentional with your self and make time for your own self care.

  • Meditation.

  • Practice self compassion and grace.

  • Write a love letter to yourself.

  • Journal.

  • Practice gratitude.

  • List your strengths.

  • Sticky note affirmations on your bathroom mirror.

  • Talk positively to your younger self.

  • Work towards healing your inner child.

  • Name and quiet your inner critic voice.

  • Step outside of your comfort zone.

  • Practice self validation and positive self talk.

These are all great steps to practicing great self love and worth towards yourself. Self love and worth is a journey, not a destination. Be gracious on yourself and your body when moving forward.


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