When we are going through our own journey, we are often finding our true authentic self. This journey may include identifying values, natural talents, passions and much more. Self-discovery may sound intimidating, but it is just a process of examining one’s life, figuring out what is missing and taking steps towards finding fulfillment. Self-discovery is important to not only our physical health but our mental health. When we take time to participate in self-discovery and self-acceptance, we provide ourselves permission to accept ourselves for who we truly are without the agenda to change or deny ourselves of who we are. Participating in activities that allow you to discover your true authentic self can build your confidence by putting you back in the driver seat of your own life. When participating in a self-discovery journey, start by visualizing your ideal self. You may explore values and identify any core beliefs you may have about yourself. Once you visualize your ideal self, you may start exploring your passions. Passions help make life more colorful and provide us with a much deeper meaning than just existing. Give yourself time and grace when participating in self-discovery as there is not a one size fits all approach or timeline. A major part of the self-discovery process is self-acceptance and self-actualization. Often, we find ourselves conforming to society to seek approval from peers, but it often does not feel authentic to our true selves. Being apart of a culture that validates strength and beauty from the outside in makes self-acceptance much more difficult. Today, we often see people through the lens of what they show us on the outside but never fully accept and embrace someone unconditionally for who they are on the inside. For some people, coming to terms with who they are and forming a positive sense of identity can be challenging. Many individuals who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, and with other non-heterosexual orientations (LGBTQIA+) experience stigma, prejudice, and/or discrimination because of their sexuality, making self-acceptance and self-discovery that much more difficult. Lower self-acceptance could be considered a risk factor for adverse mental health concerns. A positive sense of self is strengthened by validation, education, support, and acceptance by a community of others who have shared experiences. Foster a better you with self-acceptance! Acceptance of things as they come, without evaluating or attempting to change them, is a skill developed through mindfulness exercises in and out of session. We do not aim to directly change or stop unwanted thoughts or feelings, but instead encourage developing a new compassionate relationship with those experiences. One way of teaching mindfulness skills that honor your unwanted thoughts and feelings is through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). According to Good therapy.com, “ACT is based on relational frame theory (RFT), a school of research focusing on human language and cognition. RFT suggests the rational skills used by the human mind to solve problems may be ineffective in helping people overcome psychological pain. Based on this suggestion, ACT therapy was developed with the goal of teaching people that although psychological pain is normal, we can learn ways to live healthier, fuller lives by shifting the way we think about pain”. This shift can free people from difficulties attempting to control their experiences and help them become more open to actions consistent with their values, values clarification and the definition of values-based goals also being key components of ACT. Mindfulness is a key influencer to ACT and allows the individual to connect with the observing self, which is aware but separate from the thinking self. The main goal of ACT typically comes about through several core processes. 1. Developing creative hopelessness involves exploring past attempts at solving or getting away from those difficulties bringing an individual to therapy. Through recognition of the workability or lack of workability of these attempts, ACT creates opportunity for individuals to act in a manner more consistent with what is most important to them. 2. Accepting one’s emotional experience can be described as the process of learning to experience the range of human emotions with a kind, open, and accepting perspective. 3. Choosing valued life directions is the process of defining what is most important in life and clarifying how one wishes to live life. 4. Taking action may refer to one’s commitment to make changes and engage in behaviors moving one in the direction of what is most value. Other helpful strategies for promoting self-acceptance: · Create a support system. · Consider the people around you. · Realize that acceptance is not resignation. · Be kind to yourself. Compassion and forgiveness. Forgive yourself. · Separate from your emotions. · Celebrate your strengths and practice mindfulness. · Practice relaxed awareness. · Let go of rating yourself. · Learn from ALL parts of yourself. · Clarify your values. “Lasting meaningful change has to be driven by self-acceptance.”- Brene Brown #LQBTQIA #Pridemonth #Brenebrown #Selfacceptance #Socialwork #values #selfdiscovery

Transitions can be difficult and opening a new chapter may seem daunting but is never impossible to do. When transitioning to a new chapter in life, we may find ourselves doubting our abilities even more than usual due to the stress of the major life change. Chapters in life can come in many ways whether its unexpected, welcomed, or unwelcomed, chosen or imposed, sudden or gradual. Individuals who experience life transitions can expect increased levels of Cortisol which can be linked to emotional and physical ailments. Below are some examples of life transitions: Marriage or a new relationship Arrival of a new baby Parenting an infant, child, or adolescent Growing up and moving away from home Adjustment to college or the workplace Empty nesting Divorce, separation, or recovery from infidelity Retirement, job loss, or career changes Financial gain or loss Serious illness or disability of self or a loved one Issues of aging Death of a loved one or animal Questioning faith or spirituality Questioning sexual or gender identity Deployment Reintegration Exiting Active-Duty Service Graduating from school Retirement Keys to handling life transitions: · Expect to have an adjustment period. You can always look back and reflect on when you may have had a change that went well. How did you handle that change and what got you through that difficult time? · Practice self-compassion and focus on the positive aspects. What brought you to this change or transition in your life? Are you making a career change that will positively impact you for the rest of your life? Will your family be able to spend more time with you due to cutting back your work hours? Look at the hopeful signs for this transition and embrace them! · Expect emotional growth and setbacks. At times, you may feel multiple emotions or feel on edge. Provide yourself with grace and time to heal or move forward. There is never a right or wrong answer for how fast or slow growth should take. · Seek support. During this time in your life, you may need support more than ever! Reach out to those around you who lift you up or bring you happiness. · Establish realistic expectations and timelines. As mentioned above, there is never a right or wrong timeline for when you come to terms with your transition. Honor your body and mind. · Creating an effective self-care plan. Engage in multiple forms of self-care such as eating wholesome/nutritional foods, getting enough rest, and engaging in physical activity. I always tell my clients that self-care should not be hard and should not feel like a burden. Participate in something that makes you feel like the best version of you! · Practice stress management techniques. You can practice deep abdominal breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation. Mindfulness can be incredibly helpful when reducing stress, Depression and Anxiety. · You may experience increased fear and anxiety. Fear is normal and natural. You may feel anxiety which influences fear. Anxiety is adaptive and is critical for survival (i.e., fight or flight). Become aware of when your anxiety no longer becomes helpful and notice when you start to participate in avoidance. You do not have to seek change in that moment but honor why you are so anxious or what your body may be responding too. Thoughts from the therapist If I am being 100% transparent and allowing you to see behind the curtain (which is the whole purpose of this blog) is that I, myself, the writer of this blog am going through a transition as well. A wise colleague and fellow therapist told me to provide myself with grace especially when I make mistakes, which are prone to happen. Yup, I said it MISTAKES. If you are anything like me, just that 1 word sparked your inner dialogue to change; which might be fueled by your anxiety or maybe even fears stemming around your major transition. How often do you provide yourself with grace and self-compassion when moving through life’s different seasons? Why is practicing self-compassion so incredibly hard? Self-compassion also includes an element of wisdom—recognition of our common humanity. This means accepting the fact that, along with everyone else on the planet, we are flawed and imperfect individuals. There is no pressure to know absolutely everything in life and honestly, the most beautiful thing about life is the ability to grow and learn through transitions: small or large. Something I found that was useful was the phrase, “treat yourself like you would a small child”. If there is anything you take away from this blog, let it be this one line. If a small child were having difficulty with change or a transition, how would you respond? Would you speak in a softer tone? Provide them with space to process? Hug them or give them comfort? Now ask yourself, what is stopping you from providing yourself with the same compassion? #change #tipsfortransitions #therapistwhoblogs #self-compassion

After reading that title, what are your initial thoughts? Are you confused? Are you pondering on your own values? Values a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life. __________________________________________________________________________________ As a clinician, my sessions lately have consisted around boundary setting and identifying where my clients want to set firm boundaries in their lives. When identifying boundaries, you must start with your values. If you do not have any values or are unable to identify any, you wont be able to set clear consistent boundaries that you are willing to follow through on. When identifying values, you may be asking yourself; "what are my core beliefs?" Well lets start with this, I explain core beliefs to my clients as sunglasses. When you put on sunglasses, you usually notice a few different things such as: Polarization Polarization in sunglasses increases your ability to see and provides you with clarity for the things around you. For example, in sport fishing they often wear polarized sunglasses to assist with reducing the glare from the sun when it hits the water, which in result, increases visibility of fish underneath the waters surface. Filtering Light/Protection from the sun When wearing sunglasses, you reduce eye strain and increase visibility. You are able to filter harmful rays from the sun and enjoy the beauty around you. You are not only able to see more clearly but you are able to protect yourself from harmful, unwanted rays that may cause more harm in the long run! Now, with all of this information you may be running to Sunglasses Hut to buy new shades for the summer months but may have lost track of why this correlates with core beliefs/values. When exploring values and your core beliefs, you often see things differently than those around you. When an individual has core beliefs, they identify and value certain things that influences how they see the rest of the world around them, hence the sunglasses analogy! Our core beliefs and values act as sunglasses. When we are comfortable with our purpose and having a deeper understanding of what we stand for, we often have clarity for hard situations and can protect ourselves from unnecessary harm. If you are wanting to explore more value and boundary work, try this simple exercise below: My hands reach for… My feet run toward… My eyes search for… My soul wonders if… If you open the trapdoor of my heart, you’ll find… Now ask yourself, what do you stand for?

way·point /ˈwāˌpoint/ Noun A waypoint is an intermediate point or place on a route or line of travel, a stopping point or point at which course is changed. How often have you found yourself changing course in life or wanting too but have been to anxious to do it? As individuals, we are constantly adapting, changing and adhering to our social environments and the community around us. We often go through multiple phases of discovery and never truly stop working on ourselves. As we adapt and change to our environments around us, our waypoints often change too. Now ask yourself, what is your current waypoint?