Feeling Stuck in Life? 7 Ways to Break Free with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Introduction

Let’s be honest- feeling stuck in life can leave you drained, discouraged, and even hopeless. Before long, every day starts to feel like Groundhog Day: same breakfast, same commute, same playlist on repeat. You might catch yourself longing for that spark you once had—like the excitement of your very first day of high school, only to realize life now feels more like you’re just another cog in the machine.

Helping clients move through this “stuck” season is actually one of my specialties. I often use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and a values-based living approach to guide people back toward a sense of freedom, purpose, and aliveness. In this blog, I’ll share practical, therapist-backed strategies you can start using today to begin reconnecting with what truly matters and to take those first steps toward feeling alive again

Understanding the Feeling of Being Stuck

Feeling stuck is when life starts to feel like it’s on repeat—same routines, same thoughts, same frustrations and no matter what you do, you can’t seem to move forward. It’s a mix of frustration, indecision, and low motivation that keeps you from feeling fully alive.

People often feel stuck for reasons like lack of purpose, fear, self-doubt, stress, past trauma, or limited support and connection. Recognizing that feeling is the first step—waking up to the monotony of “Groundhog Day” is an invitation to pause and reflect. Through introspection and intentional action, we can begin to create meaningful change and live a life that feels purposeful.

The challenge of getting unstuck is compounded by a culture that rarely rewards intentional living. We’re praised for making more money, climbing the corporate ladder, working long hours, and pushing ourselves to the brink of burnout. In contrast, slowing down, reflecting, and acting with intention is often labeled as lazy despite the fact that living intentionally is what truly sustains fulfillment and growth.

1. Practice Acceptance Rather Than Avoidance

Acceptance in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) doesn’t mean giving up. It means allowing your thoughts and feelings to exist without letting them run your life. Instead of struggling with fear, sadness, or stress, acceptance teaches you to notice these emotions and keep moving toward what truly matters. It’s about making space for life as it is, so you can act with purpose and live in alignment with your values. With acceptance, means riding your emotions like a wave and understanding that everything is temporary.

Embracing your emotions means allowing yourself to fully feel whatever comes up—joy, sadness, anger, or fear—without judgment or suppression. When we acknowledge our emotions instead of pushing them away, we gain insight into our needs, values, and experiences. Accepting emotions as valid signals helps us respond to life with clarity, resilience, and authenticity.

2. Identify Your Core Values

One activity I often find joy in guiding others through is identifying their core values. Knowing your values helps clarify what you truly stand for—and what you don’t. They act as a compass, guiding you through both calm and stormy times.

In life, we often act in alignment with our values, but trauma or major life stressors can leave our value system feeling weakened or misaligned. Have you ever faced a critical decision and felt completely lost about which direction to take? Your values can light the way.

1. Reflect on moments that feel like a highlight or peak

2. Notice common themes

3. Think about actions/behaviors you participated in recently and ask what drove them

4. Write down a few values

   
   

3. Set Meaningful Goals

During my undergraduate, I had the privilege of taking a course on happiness. One of the exercises focused on identifying goals rooted in our personal values. One of my goals became simple yet powerful: to pause and smell the roses during my weekly walk. By dedicating just 15 minutes of an already scheduled activity, I noticed a boost in my mood and a refreshing sense of mental clarity. This experience highlights how small, intentional steps integrated into your existing routine can support motivation and well-being—no need to reinvent the wheel!

4. Engage in Mindfulness Practices

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), mindfulness is a core practice that helps you stay present with your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment. Rather than trying to control or suppress difficult emotions, mindfulness teaches you to observe them with curiosity and openness. This awareness creates space to choose actions aligned with your values, rather than reacting automatically to discomfort. Practicing mindfulness in daily life can increase emotional resilience, reduce stress, and help you live more intentionally. As I explain to my clients, mindfulness is not an activity but a state of mind. You can be mindful doing any activity, even folding laundry. There are 2 major components of mindfulness- acceptance and awareness. Next time you are walking your neighborhood or local park, check in with yourself and practice those 2 things.

5. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Cognitive restructuring is a great way to help fix those negative thoughts that make you feel stuck in a loop. Most of my clients often participate in cognitive distortions which is a fancy way of saying irrational thoughts. Irrational thoughts can feel like glue and often become sticky when we fuse ourselves to them. One of my favorite techniques is teaching cognitive defusion where we put distance between ourselves and our thoughts. Imagine your sitting in a movie theater seat and your thoughts are the credits on the screen. From a distance our problems do not feel as big or as overwhelming.

6. Cultivate Self-Compassion

Imagine a world where the way you speak to a stranger on their worst day is the same way you speak to yourself every day. Sounds amazing, right? Mindfulness and self-compassion are central to our work with clients who feel stuck or uncertain about their next steps in life.

Think about it—when a friend says she wants to run a marathon but hasn’t run in years, you don’t laugh or criticize; you offer encouragement and guidance so she can succeed. When a friend is navigating a difficult divorce, you don’t tell her what she could have done differently—you simply sit with her as she processes her emotions.

Self-compassion works the same way with yourself. It’s about recognizing your shared humanity, meeting yourself where you truly are, and offering the same grace you would give someone else. By practicing self-compassion, you reduce harsh self-judgment and open the door to growth, courage, and meaningful action.

Example Exercise:

With my clients I often tell them to start with their younger self. How can you offer compassion to a part of you that struggled and how can you meet that need?

7. Seek Professional Help if Needed

Working with a therapist can be incredibly transformative. With the right guidance, you can break free from unhelpful thinking patterns and start living a life that feels joyful, meaningful, and aligned with your values—almost like stepping into your favorite childhood memory. Everyone deserves a life that feels purposeful, fulfilling, and truly their own.

Meet the Writer Kara Tolman, MSW, LCSW, is the owner and lead therapist at Making Waves Counseling and Wellness. She specializes in anxiety management, trauma healing, relationship challenges, and values-driven living. Kara is passionate about helping clients create a life that feels meaningful, joyful, and fully aligned with their values, guiding them toward greater happiness and personal fulfillment.